Helping humankind live with the earth not against it

Category: “Meditations on the Path of Knowledge” (Page 1 of 2)

Asterix and Obelix

I was going to write about something a little on the long side, but a movie I wanted to see came in the mail today so it is going to be short. Here is a super crazy idea I had. I love the Asterix and Obelix comics. I checked out every single one the library had when I was growing up and bought one when I was in France. I even own a movie!

Now for my crazy idea. I am pretty damn french in my heritage and I got curious about Gaul and Gaulish religions. I remember references to Julius Caesar writing about the Druids in France, and a cautionary note to remember who he was and who he was writing too…. and therefore take those writings with a large chunk of salt. However, I am curious about the cultural knowledge today about druids in Gaul. So then I got the idea that in Asterix and Obelix the characters would be stereotypes based on current cultural understanding. I’m not saying I am going to take them literally but I thought it would be a fun exercise to treat the comics like a sort of source material story (like fairy tales) and see what sort of picture I could draw about druids in Gaul. So I am going to try it! We’ll see what happens!

Unconventional Practice

Meditations on the Path of Knowledge
Reminder: Enter the November contest by tomorrow 11/27!

I think we all have an idea about what constitutes as a magical practice. I however feel like almost anything can be converted into part of your path. I am going to list a few of mine and I would have to hear what unconventional things you do that you consider part of your practice.

I know that doesn’t sound like it is very unconventional but hear me out. I am not talking about playing music as part of a ritual or even listening to chat or religious music. I find singing to be a very meditating activity as well as playing music. If you think about it, in singing you are doing breath control and focused on one thing. For me it helps get air moving through my body and clear my mind. I also have a few songs that to me have a feeling that sometimes I find useful. Some of these are classical music pieces, and others are pop songs. The ones I use to get myself into different head spaces change with time but I find it very useful. Combing these two can be powerful as well. Even if you think you cant sing, there is always the shower and driving by yourself to try it out.

This is another big one for me. Most of my life my regular practice involved walks in the woods. When I was a baby pagan there was a tree in the park I used to walk down to. It was off the path a little ways but I knew which downed log to walk back on. I would climb up in that tree and just sit there listening to the woods around me. When I went to college I walked through the arboretum to school every day and made that my personal time. I had room mates that I could have talked with but I preferred to walk alone. You can also if you are on a hike somewhere with friends take a minute (under the guise of a rest if you have to) to just be in that moment in the wild space you are in. Really feel the movement of the earth.

This one is new. I have never lived somewhere that swimming outside was doable year round. It is amazing how calming just jumping in the ocean is. It doesn’t really take long to get me out of the downward spiral you get into worrying about your day and make you very present. I have always felt water to be very calming but never liked the chlorine feeling after being in a pool for long time periods. I have also when available found similar satisfaction with hot springs. I have nothing against pools they are awesome for swimming laps but in terms of centering me and bring me to the present in a spiritual context they are not ideal for me.

I lumped these together because to me they both represent giving selflessly. One is to others directly and the other is to the community and environment. I started the podcast as a gift. I was inspired by the gifting culture of Burning Man. If you haven’t noticed there is no donate button on my site. I have experimented with selling items on etsy to help offset the cost but my heart isn’t in it. I like it more as a gift. I feel bad sometimes that I can’t spend more time, energy, and money on the podcast, but c’est la vie. It is what it is, and I can’t give more than I have. I also in the same vein arguable don’t really have time to volunteer but I do it anyways. It tends to make my weekend a bit hectic but it is something I consider important. Giving without expecting anything in return is hard (its the second part that is hard) but it is very rewarding. Give to your community and give to others. Praise counts as being given something back. Try it without expecting any recognition. We are social creatures it is definitely challenging and is something that I work hard at to fight within myself to accomplish.

We owe it to ourselves to be lifelong scholars. Some of us are called to learn in different areas than others. Never assume you are done learning on any topic, that means you have only scratched the surface. The more you know, the more you know that you don’t know. I was called to learn about the earth and that has taken me down some odd roads. Curiosity is your friends. Never settle with “I think I get it” always dig deeper. It can be even something as simple as keeping detailed notes about how your divination tools behave in different conditions. This may only be useful to you, but be curious and ask questions. Knowledge is a powerful tool. Don’t stop at what others can teach you, go out and try and learn new things. Learn the names of the trees in your area. Make a goal to identify the plants, and animals and insects around you. I challenge you to not find something so interesting you want to learn more. Learning about the world around you brings you a closer feeling to it. When I moved and didn’t know the bird calls, and couldn’t name the trees I felt like I was truly in a strange place. I bought some field guides and now I feel much more at home.

Not just magical cooking, but cooking itself can be a meditative task. Taking the time to make things from scratch can be a challenge but again puts you in the now in a way heating something up doesn’t. I am often amazing that the simple ingredients I put together create something so different and so wonderful.

I would like to hear what you think about these topics as well as anything else you would like to add to the list! 🙂

liminal space and names

I am in love with the word liminal these days. I just adore it. Liminal spaces and places, I just love it.

1. of or relating to a transitional or initial stage of a process.
2. occupying a position at, or on both sides of, a boundary or threshold.

Mandorla or Vesica piscis

I like it because most of the time I feel like I exist in a liminal world, halfway between science and magic. I have one foot in each but stand not totally in any. I like thinking about liminal time as well. Like right now, the sun just set but it is not yet night. There is still light in the sky in one direction and in the other the stars will soon start to pop out. It is not day, and it is not night. This is my favorite time, dusk. I think these spaces are important. You can’t tell how dark it is unless you have light to compare it to, and liminal spaces are the perfect places to look at differences. 

I am getting to names. The reason I am combining these two topics is because of the name I used many years in my magical work. I have many names, and I tend to collect nicknames. As a practical matter I have my given name, my common nickname, the name I use for this blog and podcast, and then my magical names as well as a new Hawaiian name.

I have 2 magical names that I have used for many years. I can only tell you one. I have a name that I use between me and spirit only. No one else knows this name. It is really more a syllable and I’m not even sure I would be able to write it. I call that MY name. It is how I identify myself to spirits, and cannot be confused with anyone else. My other name is my magical name in the traditional sense. This is a name that I have used around the community before, and likely will continue to use. I know it can be confusing but since every time I have moved somewhere I get a new nickname it feels totally normal to me. My craft/magic name is Dusk. It always has been.

Dusk is my favorite time of day. You are stuck between the world of the Sun and the world of the Moon. Between a blue sky (or gray because I am from Seattle…) and inky black. It is the time of day I feel most alive. I love dusk! The light slowly drains from the sky and if you are not paying attention the night sneaks up on you. I had a Greek myth book as a kid and I was always fascinated with Nyx and Selene. I loved the images of both, one pulling night over the world like a blanket and the other riding the moon across the sky. When the clouds are just right in the evening sky it seems like I can see the edges of her cloak as Nyx covers the world in night.

Somehow I managed to write about two things at once leaving you in a liminal place between subjects. I hope you are prepared for an over use of the word liminal until I find a new favorite word!

Waiting at the crossroads…

I feel like many of the posts I have written this month are full of “common” knowledge. However, I do find that it is important to rediscover even the most common of common knowledge, because while you know it, sometimes you don’t know it, if you know what I mean. Reflecting on my thoughts and feelings has helped in this strange time I have been going through.

I have always been a pretty driven person, and generally there has been a goal in my life. My job is a job. This is totally new and uncharted territory for me. I am not working on a degree and there is no end date. This I think is why my mind has wandered to my somewhat neglected spiritual path. I put all of my effort and work into my studies for so long, that it was the entirety of my life. Religion was something that had to be quick so I could get back to work. Sort of. The whole reason I am a geologist is born out of my religion, so in a way I have felt like my work was part of my path.

That first geology class I took was wonderful and challenging. I had never really considered myself a “science person” and was thinking about anthropology or maybe world religions as areas of study, having recently abandoned the idea of a career in classical music. And then we went on field trips, and had labs, and I started to see the landscape a little differently. In order to fulfill the science requirement for my school I had to take a total of 3 geology classes. The second quarter I took 2 at the same time. One was Historical Geology (which kicked my ass), and the other was called Physical Geology. In my physical geology class we talked about the forces that shape the landscape. It was a fascinating class that further opened my eyes to how the landscape had a story written on it. Of course as a student of nature and lover of nature I wanted to know more (and who can argue with field trips!?). I think what most struck me was how immediate and current it was. This science wasn’t abstract. I started this class a month after the Sumatra earthquake and tsunami. My teacher used photographs to explain how the waves formed and how they were different from surf breaking no the storm. Current events, with videos and photos that were barely a month old. It was real and alive to me. I had experienced earthquakes before and felt like I was on a boat as the waves rolled through. Now I had concepts and terms to explain what I had felt. The world was alive around me and I wanted more.

This photo screams field trip!

So I took mineralogy. And you know what? I hated that class. It was HARD. I worked my ass off like I hadn’t had to at that point. I didn’t get it, I couldn’t quickly excel, not even close. But I liked the people and I still was convinced I liked geology. I also liked that it was hard and I wasn’t bored yet. Next I took a field class. 3 weeks living in a tent camping in different spots and learning to read the story of the earth through outcrops. Petrology sold me on geology. A road cut became a book with a story it couldn’t wait to tell you. I was sold. From then on out I was geology nuts! I had found my place. The earth was alive, it sang about its history and I had been given the tools to listen.

My path through geology has been one of  “Oooo something sparkly!!!” and off I go. I have ended up very far away from that first love of petrology but my drive unlock the story of what the earth is telling me is still strong within me. It has driven me through undergrad and grad school to where I am today.

But I haven’t forgotten what called me onto this path. The feeling I got when sitting in the woods when I was young. My spiritual life took back burner as I charged through school, and now I have time to nourish it again. As I know and have came to fully understand this month, this is a process that cannot be rushed. This isn’t like a class that you study hard for a quarter or semester and take an exam and you are done. There is no “end date” and there is no final. Lack of structure is something that I have always struggled with.

In doing all that studying for school I found something very valuable to know. I suck at learning from books. There, I said it. I can read something, and it make no sense, but the second someone else reads it to me suddenly things start clicking. I learn best in a hands on discussion based setting. For academic work I made sure I went to a school with small class sizes, but in my spiritual life? Well that tends to involve other people. Something I don’t have where I am right now.

The last group I actively worked with was when I was an undergrad. I was a member of a student pagan group at my school and while it was awkward (I had never worked with anyone before, or FINISHED a single pagan book even through I started lots…) I really do value the time we spent together. Then I ran away again (ok I went to grad school). I went to a research school and there was NO pagan group on campus. I tried to contact a small group I found on witchvox (that was close… ish…) but their attitude totally turned me off. They could have been awesome but I am skittish.

So here I am. In a beautiful place, full of amazing spirits, and no one to share it with. I think I need a teacher. I have known this for a while but I really think I need some guidance on my next step. I don’t know that I will find one here, but you never know. The world works in mysterious ways. I belong to no tradition, I have no training, I have no magical lineage, and I stand at a crossroads waiting for a guide who may or may not come. But, I have my heritage. I am proud of my families deep roots in the New and Old worlds. I am North American, I am pagan, and I fucking love this planet. At the very least I know who I am.

Making progress

Meditations on the Path of Knowledge

We live in a culture of instant gratification. We want results, things, and information NOW. Part of what I love about Burning Man is taking the internet away from myself. Its good for me to disconnect. I would do it more in my life, but with my work it can be hard to be a Luddite completely for a week. Even in this culture where advances happen at a breakneck speed it can be good to remember that some goals are only met with slow progress.

I was reminded of this at work today. I had a bit of a break through (tiny really, didn’t recognize it until I was sharing this weeks progress with my boss). The work on this project has been slow, and every day I have felt like I got nowhere. But slowly over the last 3 months I have taken this project from idea to almost result (I should get a result tomorrow). Every step seems insignificant, and I can’t point to any “jump” forward. Yet here I am. It was constant slow progress that got me where I am. Sometimes when you walk a path you do it slowly while looking at your feet. This isn’t a bad thing, but it means sometimes you forget that you are making forward progress.

This sort of work takes time, and generally careful thought. When you get there though you have a very strong foundation you have built up. It works in research and I think it works in spirituality as well. We want to reach our goals almost as soon as we decide on them (and I am guilty of this as well). However, real growth, and real progress must be built on a solid foundation. Sometimes it can be easy to forget that to get where you are it took many baby steps and many days and months and years.

What is that saying? Nothing in life worth having is easy? Embrace the hard work, long hours and baby steps. It is totally worth it! Now I am going to celebrate my progress by drinking wine and watching cartoon!

P.S. Don’t forget about the November Giveaway!

The gap between ideal daily practice and reality

Meditations on the Path of Knowledge

I think we all have an ideal daily practice that we all fall short of. For a long time I had the attitude that I had to always try for that ideal. Recently I gave up on that ideal and opted for “do-able”. Doing this has been very freeing and I no longer feel like a bad witch when I can’t do something. I am a bit of a perfectionist, and as a scientists I am trained to be complete and precise in my work, and I had to give that up in my spiritual practice (not easy!).

Ideal: My ideal is morning and evening meditation, morning and evening yoga, daily journaling and divination, and/or reading and studying. (I’m lucky to get out of bed without hitting the snooze button 4 times by the way….)

I talked with SilverShadow a while ago and he suggested starting working more with ancestors. I wrote a little bit about my Mom yesterday. She keeps what I consider our family ancestor alter. She has a table covered in photos of loved ones (from both her family and my Fathers family), and a mini dias de las muertas alter (its so freaking cute). We also have an ancestor hall (a hallway with more photos). I have a few photos but I am definitely going to need to get more for my family and I would also like to get some for my Husbands family. Even with these limited photos I started a very quick and easy (but still meaningful) daily practice.

Do-able every day: I have ancestor incense that I bought locally, and two containers I feel comfortable lighting tea lights and not having to sit and watch them. I light my candles and incense and say thank you for all the blessings in my life.

Simple, and fast. Some days I can manage more from my list but at least I can do my one simple thing. It is very freeing to find that simple act that I can do.

I would be interested to hear what you all do every day or what your ideal practice looks like!

My mother is a pantheist… I am a Jedi?

Meditations on the Path of Knowledge

I have trouble with the differences and exact definitions between pantheism and animism. My mother describers herself as a pantheist and when I was younger I looked it up to see what it was she meant.

pan·the·ism – /ˈpanTHēˌizəm/ – noun
1. a doctrine that identifies God with the universe, or regards the universe as a manifestation of God

My mother was raised Christian but, her belief is more that God is in everything, and her church was nature. This is mostly how I was raised. We went to Church maybe twice a year, and almost never the same one. I am not sure what it was my Mom was looking for in a Church but she never found it.

I do not consider myself a pantheist, maybe because I don’t require the existence or non-existence of a specific “God” or “Gods”. I have always felt that there was something, that wasn’t explained in the physical sense that was all around and incorporated in everything. Like everything that has mass has gravity, everything has this essence. It is my personal belief that we do not have the tools to explain or understand whatever this is, but it doesn’t keep us from trying. I also in my belief allow for this thing to be “found” characterized and explained. I like to use the term “spirit” or “essence”.

My husband is an atheist and the first time we had a discussion about my views he started laughing and then quoted the following scene.

So now, forever, he just tells me I believe in The Force. And you know what? I am totally ok with that. All of this is to come around to what I consider myself, and that would be an animist. 
 an·i·mism – /ˈanəˌmizəm/ – noun

1. the attribution of a soul to plants, inanimate objects, and natural phenomena.
2. the belief in a supernatural power that organizes and animates the material universe.

Now I am always very careful to define my terms, and I don’t like using ones that have a precise and physical meaning. Force is an influence on an object. F = ma right? You grab a physics text book if you want to look up how to describe a force. The same goes for Energy, energy is a basic property of an object and again I go back to physics books. You will rarely find me using these terms for anything other than their physical description (obvious exception The Force). I also don’t like the term “soul” since it has a very specific cultural meaning for us of Western European ancestry. Because I am not good at making up my own terms, I use “spirit” and “essence” but mostly “spirit”.

I don’t discount entirely the existence of one or more deities. It could just be that I have not been made totally aware of them in my work. Most of my work deals with the spirit of place. Different physical locations feel very different to me.

Back to my topic, pantheism vs animism. I am never happy with the definitions I have found, and I am not an anthropologist. This is personally how I define the two. Pantheism is the belief that everything is or is part of A God or set of Gods. Animism is the belief in a spirit that runs through everything and doesn’t require a “God” but doesn’t discount it either. I remember when I first looked up pantheism thinking that it was close to what I believed but not exactly it. My Mom believes in GOD, I don’t, and there had to be something to describe that distinction. Like I said in the beginning I always struggle with the exact definitions of these two words. Maybe that is why I find just saying “I believe in something like “The Force” to really be the quickest way to get my point across.

So does that make me a Jedi? Of course there are Force Witches, but they are dark side…. maybe I am just Force sensitive.

P.S. When I play table top Star Wars I somehow always get Dark Side points… I get too excited about everything including critical hits. Also I never understood how just killing someone doesn’t get you Dark Side points…. even if they are a Sith, you still killed someone…

I am not ready for the darkness

Meditations on the Path of Knowledge

I want to talk a little bit about the idea of light and dark. The world is all about two things in my mind, cycles and balance. There is light and there is dark. I think there are three attitudes towards darkness in a path that is pagan bent, the first being acceptance and use of the darkness, the second being acknowledgement but not use of the darkness, and the third is ignoring it. I have always been in the second group. To me I am impressed by those who roll up their sleeves and dive right in. I have had a rocky relationship with the darker aspects of life.

I lived in fear for a few years when I was younger (it’s a long story I don’t want to share, but believe me my safety was not something that was a given at that point in my life). This led me down a very dark mental path for many years. I struggled with things beyond my years while my friends talked about boys. I remember even as young as I was the feeling of not wanting to drag them down into my darkness. I put on a happy face and did battle myself. I have always been a very do-it-my-self person and part of that extended into not wanting to burden others with my problems. I have learned to lean on these same friends now, but it took me a while.

I have spent so long trying to free myself of this unstable relationship with the darker aspects of my mental well being that I very strongly stayed away from the darker aspects of my spiritual path. This is not to say that everything was always rainbows and sunshine and fluffy bunnies, but I have never really worked anything that could be even slightly considered negative.

Why this reluctance to explore half of the universe? I think it has to do with not feeling like I have my own darkness under control. I have a wildly explosive temper, and when I am angry I am very deeply and violently angry. I develop strong hatred towards people as well. I know these are not healthy. I know I do not have these emotions under control. I don’t like them. I don’t do workings when my emotions are high. There is a reason I haven’t done much this past year. There is a situation that came up in March that I am still very, extremely angry about. I have considered actions to take magically but when I write them down and come back to them, even when they seem reasonable at the time, I can tell they are over the top. To balance out this darkness I have what I call a creamy center. I am the person who can’t watch uncomfortable comedy like The Office because I feel so bad for the characters. It’s not funny it is painful. Because of this dynamic I often regret and feel horrible about things I do when I am angry. As gleefully as I come up with evil plans, a few minutes later I can be horrified.

Until I learn to control the darkness in me I don’t trust myself working with the darkness. I consider myself an acknowledger of the darkness, while not feeling ready to work with it. Maybe soon I will and I will start down a road of discovery. Sending positivity into the world is something I feel comfortable that I can’t over do and hurt someone. Working anything darker is something I am afraid I will over do, because I know myself.

I recognize flaws in myself, but this I consider a strength, knowing when you are not yet ready for something. I don’t like the way negativity takes over in me sometimes, but I am proud that I have enough control to not do something I will regret later. As I continue to struggle and learn and improve on control of my darker aspects, I feel myself coming closer to exploring the darkness I’m just not there yet.

So I’ll stay in the light, spreading positivity and being contagiously enthusiastic about everything I love!

I don’t belong here… shhh someone might find out!

“Meditations on the Path of Knowledge”

I guess I set the bar a little high for myself. When I said I was zombified from work yesterday…. that was nothing. I spent my day arguing with a computer that won. I don’t have a huge topic for tonight so I am going to introduce you to a concept that I will hopefully be able to expand upon tomorrow. I was going to write about fear in general tonight, but that would be a longer post than I am capable. But I said WRITE EVERYDAY and code doesn’t count so here I go.

Impostor Syndrome

This is the feeling that it was a fluke that you got accepted to/or hired at someplace, and the fear that someone is going to find out that you don’t belong. This runs rampant in science, and is something I suffer from. Although it is technically not a “disorder or syndrome” it has became popularly known as such. Partially I think my issue with it comes from the “jack of all trades, master of none” saying. I have always identified with that. I have always liked to try many different things. For a time I was a musician, and then I was interested in anthropology, found out I am horrible at economics, and have only ever been “OK” at math. I have never felt that I excelled at anything. Although now that I think about it, I was convinced I wasn’t good enough to make it on the classical music scene and quit out of fear.

PhD Comics is always spot on!
As I have continued on my path both spiritually and academically to understand the world around me, I started to notice the phenomenon pictured above. The more I studied the less I thought I knew. I think that is what I really liked about Fire Lyte’s Project Pagan Enough campaign. I felt like I knew nothing, and that I was going to be “found out” for not being pagan enough. I felt like I wasn’t coming from a place where I could even talk to the people I had found and looked up to as being CRAZY smart on the pagan front. I felt like worse than a beginner because I knew I knew nothing, and that anything I asked would sound stupid and I would be found out.
In science though I think the stakes are higher since I am employed in my field. I felt like I didn’t deserve to get into grad school. That I was in no way smart enough. I felt like I didn’t deserve to work with the people I did, and I definitely still feel like I don’t deserve the degree I got. Almost on a weekly basis I run into something that is intellectually challenging enough that it stops me in my tracks. My boss and coworkers are brilliant and I feel stupid compared to them. I come home feeling that I am not qualified to even walk in the door at work. 
I would like to say that this is all in the past tense, but lets face it. I am giving a talk at the biggest conference in my field, in front of people I have always looked up to as WAY smarter than me and I am terrified. I started writing my thoughts down and have been SHOCKED that these posts (few as they are) have been so well received. I have almost a visceral reaction to the praise from them. “They must be joking, these are shit. Why would they say they like something that is so obviously simplistic and nothing new?” See?  It takes me a lot to get rid of this thinking. I have to remind myself that I have high standards for my work, and that is a good thing. But, sometimes you just have to let go and trust other people, and your own work.
I think everyone suffers from the impostor syndrome to some extent. I think it is worse when the stakes are high. I think we need to put more faith in ourselves and the people around us to be able to judge our ability better than our self. I also don’t trust anyone who tells me they are smart, or knows everything, total red flags in my book. The more you know, the more you know you don’t know. —Aristotle is another favorite quote of mine, and I think that simple fact leads down the impostor syndrome road. If you look around and everyone else seems to be getting something you don’t (because you can see the complexities) you feel stupid. But sometimes, that’s just because you are the smart one. 
Fear and negativity have been major factors in my life, so I guess you can say “to be continued…” I do not work with the darker aspect, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know it is there. I think its dangerous with the wrong mind set, and I don’t think I am ready. 
Until next time… (I’m going to pass out now….)

Damn my subconscious is smart!

“Meditations on the Path of Knowledge”

My topic for today is dreams. You will have to excuse the zombie like writing since I feel like my head is full of mud and not brains. That is what happens when I try to reason with computers all day. I have strange dreams sometimes. I have dreams that hint at truth, and I have dreams that are like movies.

Sleep is one of those important things, that when you think about it evolutionary make little to no sense. When we sleep we are vulnerable, so why did we evolve to need sleep? This is a question tackled by Radio Lab and I think they did an excellent job. There was a study published in Science last month that might have answered some of this question. It appears that our brain cleans itself. This is all very interesting (and I encourage you to explore more on this topic) but that is not my topic for today.

If you aren’t already listening to RadioLab why the hell not!?

Dreams. There is a long tradition of prophetic dreams. I am no stranger to this phenomenon. A few weeks ago I had a dream that an ex-coworker (who moved to Europe) stopped by the lab. It was short and comical (I told him to go back outside and knock like a normal person). I told one of my current coworkers this dream while we were hiking. He went home that night to an email from this co-worker saying he would be in town in November. Coincidences like this, and strong Deja Vu experiences have always seemed to happen.

It seems to me that there are at least to ways one can approach the “what are dreams” like this question. The first is with magical thinking, and the second is more rational that your subconscious picks up on cues that your conscious brain doesn’t. I lean on the second approach, but there is always a sliver of magical thinking. There have been cases where I had a dream about a conversation with someone, only to have that conversation YEARS later. I have recognized people out of dreams from years before as well. It could be my brain playing tricks on me, or it could be something more. While it is pleasing to think that I can see through time, and that I am having prophetic dreams, I’m not sure that jumping to that conclusion doesn’t take something away.

Once you give something an explanation and put it in a “box” you stop trying to figure out the problem. Where is the fun in that!? I personal like the thinking that time doesn’t have to be linear and that I might be experiencing a bit on non-linearity of time in my sleep, but I also like waking up in awe of how smart my subconscious is. What environmental triggers made me think about my ex-coworker, and conclude that he was due to come back for a visit? I have no idea. But my brain might have picked up on some pattern that my conscious self hasn’t seen.

Wouldn’t nonlinear time be fun? For a while… 
then I bet it would get annoying….

My subconscious also likes movies. I refer to my sleep state as “Sleep Kat” and she is very different from me. She is a total bitch, and will hang on to her dreams with both hands. I posted on social media recently that I had a very vivid dream that was very linear like watching a movie. I wrote down this dream and 6 pages later I have an outline for a much longer story. I think I will write that one up in January in full. This is far from the first time I have had this happen, and a collection of stories from “Sleep Kat” might be a fun project.

Why I picked dreams today is due to a dream I had last night. I tend to have very vivid dreams. There are times that I wake up unsure if that was a dream or not… This morning right before my alarm went off I dreamed that a colleague of mine posted a photo of a beautiful dark red candle with a heart carved on the snow into it with a caption that insinuated that she was also pagan. It was so vivid that I checked my facebook three times this morning to see.

(not what it looked like but the closest thing google images came up with)

It made me realize that while I know they are dreams I put a lot of stock in what my dreams tell me. I don’t take it at face value, but I question if it really happened or not. I guess I don’t have much in the way of concluding remarks besides saying that dreams have a funny way of sticking to you and making you question reality. And I love it!

P.S. My brain feels much better now! I knew this writing thing was a good idea! 🙂

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